Ok, I like getting blowjobs. I remember reading about women in colleges that give blowjobs to the entire football team in order, and wondered why I never got invitations to parties like that. I guess it was because of my small penis!
But I’m a bit puzzled. Consider the following scenario:
You have a date. You have a nice conversation over dinner, with some good eye contact. She touches your hand, you stroke the back of her hand. You’re walking afterwards, and she takes your arm, pulling it close, so it makes contact with her breast through the cloth. You get to the door, and she leans in to kiss you. You kiss and she really presses into you with all parts of her body. She says, somewhat hoarsely, “come in”. You go inside and within seconds you are pulling each others clothes off.
Her hands go down your chest, down your belly, down into your pants. You notice an odd look on her face as she pulls down your pants and kneels. OMG she’s kneeling, does this mean a hummer? Yeah!
But nothing’s happening. You look down, and she has a tape measure out and she’s frowning. “That doesn’t meet my standards, sorry. I don’t think your dick would taste very good at all, it’s too small. Damn it! Another package of Altoids gone to waste.”
Has this ever happened to you?
On the contrary, my donger is a bit girthy, and well – sometimes they are all “ow, my jaw and shit.”
and then they say “good luck PUTTING that in MY butt.”
Then I learned how to duct tape mouths shut… which isn’t helpful for blowjobs, but stops them from screaming.